-mE-

assalamualaikum

ahahahahaha…sorry bloggy.. can’t help oneself from laughing…ahahahaha… here we go again… yup..once again the lunatic mad women appears after..let me see..hermm… 3 days not writing in her precious blog..sorry bloggy love  for abandoning you..got some stuff that need to be settle… really² important stuff…

ok…better stop blabbing nonsense… let’s start with something… herm… well pratically everything seems to be fine on moody-monday..appart from..feeling a bit stress since i got a lot of things to settle and problems that seems to be increase and mounting and afraid it might collapse on top of me…burry me within it…. (GaAhHh!!)gosh…. gotta do something before it actually starts to collapse on top of me like evalange(not quite sure if its the right spelling!!) in the himalayas!!!!

now…where were we.. oh… the unsettled stuff thingy… oufff… nearly forgot…had promised pretib to call him regarding about the ‘problem’… hold on just a minute bloggy..will continue in short while……oh gosh…why haven’t he picked up the phone…. feeling quaffy right now…oh…he picked up the phone….

ok done with that…sigh~..tommorow will be a hectic day for me…have to plan it properly….hermm….must wake up very² early…won’t want to be late and starts to panic and in a rush..here and there….and get all sweaty and grumpy… no no… that won’t be appropriate..don’t you think so bloggy darling…. good God… am starting to realise…haven’t pratically wrote/type anything decent in you ( meaning… no good/hot gossips to type in blog..since life have been quite pathethic and not fully organized)… well..since there’s nothing much to say (besides talking rubbish)… feel should stop for now….maybe if there’s any good things to tell…will type in you later…. by the way…sorry for being such a boring-arse…..*wink*

assalamamualaikum

bloggyyyy..i’m a bad bad bad bad bad person… i don’t deserve  good friends that always surrounds me or people that cheerish me with love…. i’m not a good person… huhuhuhuh =(….  i want everyone to know..i’m not a good or a nice girl that everyone seems to predict/ assume…i’m a person who love to takes things for granted, an egomaniac and full of grudge within this mind, body and soul..i can’t bloggy…i simply can’t vanish this attitude.. which is such a disgrace… eventhough how much i try..to let go certain things… to forgive certain things and to be an understanding person…i just can’t.. i even fail to pull all my strength and courage to overcome any obstacle or trouble that i have to face and endure… and its even impossible for me to just let go of my grudge or forgive  those that misunderstood me.. that hurt me… i just simply can’t… oh bloggy..help me… this feeling… its like a  heavy burden..and its killing me… i want to be forgiveful and forget all the hurtful past… but i can’t… it just keep on haunting me..over and over again… i’m not a strong person as you may think i am… i’m just a weak mortal that have no specialty nor any possible goodness in oneself… can a human simply forgive and forget eventhough they have been hurt… as if… their heart have been pierced with sharp dagger and the pain is unbearable… so pain….that no one can possibly heal it….

Assalamualaikum

hurahhh!!! finish my bridget jones..feel very satisfied with oneself…ooouff… sorry…terjatuhkan phone….ok..am going to proceed with latest new learn laguage..thanks to bridget joness….here we go…

detach = meaning a person who is no longer with a relationship…and she/he do not have any grudge with ex-spouse etc….. but wishes not to have anything to do with the ex and wishes the person will just vanish in thin air…(haahah)

denial =  a person who is in confuse state whether are still having/ not having a relationship with spouse/lover and try to mend one’s heart by telling that the spouse is a good person etc… (when the real fact is they are not )

smug-married friends = a friend who is married and live a joyful live as married couple…but keep on bugging and showing of happiness to singleton* friend.. ( gosh..won’t want to be in that state…)

singleton = a group of people who is not married nor having any real relationship..( what’s wrong being single?!!! shessh…talking about desperate to have a relationship…although knowing spouse/lover  is a convict/ex murderer/etc..)

love pariah = a person who always fail in love and starting to give up… ( not quite sure whether it is the right meaning or not)

hermmm..there’s more actually…but been thinking wherether should/shouldn’t include other new- learn- words in it…afraid blog might change into a dictionary or lexicon( an inventory of words..)..hahah..sorry bloggy…but can’t help oneself sharring the happiness and bliss after reading bridget jones… i might turn out to be another bridget jones fanatic member…..harty-har-har

enough with this briget jones obesession…. now let’s move forward with what happen in real live…. budak kecik just call…(my adorable budak kecik)… hahaha…someone is having an admirer..harharhar (hurrah)..i’m so happy…hermm..happy is not the word to put up with my feeling…its more than happy..its… actually a combination of please + glad + delighted + joyful + cheerful + blissful ( starting to sound like a lunatic mad women..sorry bloggy love) knowing that..sam ( an american guy who already convert to Islam for a year…propose my budak kecik..imagine that..he actually mean bussiness… want to marry budak kecik..no need to encouter with heartbreak, false hope etc..)..and right now budak kecik is having big time headache…much worse then migrain…told her to take it slowly..one at a time…then if everything goes well…yippieeeee… ( am starting to hear wedding bells and imagining confetti ) you see bloggy…i know that she will get a better person someday..never tot it would be so soon though….heheheeh… life is like karma… someone hurt you..they eventually will get hurt to..or maybe much worse…like turning into a stupid person who doesn’t mind to be a last resort..although knowing the fact that oneself been living in life full of uncertain hope…harty-har-har… amazing how karma can really get you….( sounds like an evil ice queen about to emerge…better stop now..

gaaahh!!!…gotta stop..haven’t prayed yet..gonna get sting from queen bee ( mommy love ) if she knows this…bye bloggy darling…toolidoo

 p/s : soo basically..everything seems to be ok…happy happy happy… hermm..missing my black knight terribly (always wonder why can’t stop thinking of him..as if being hypnotize or voodoo-ed by him)…ape la dia tgh buat sekarang nie…tdo lagi ke..gi kelas ke…shessh..get a grip u silly girl!! must stop drooling about germany-black guy…~sigh…..

Assalamualaikum

fuhhh~…made it on time… i tot i would definately went overboard and miss my curfew….luckily i reach home on time… 9pm..on the dot…hehehhe… ( u lil notty + lucky girl )..and to make things much easier…mom and dad..both of them are not around…am thinking…they might have gone to the hospital… visiting ayahlong…. ( he just got a heart attack..gone through opperation and gradually getting better..hope he wil get well very² soon..can’t imagine him getting sick…when all this while…always see him soo dashing and awfully funny)

ok..done about that… now lets talk about todays activities… lets start with morning… 1st i got false alarm from mom…saying that daddy will be back from batu pahat and he’ll be back around 10 am… ( so much for 10 am mom… there goes my beauty sleep…gosh… i am such a lazy lil brat)…then… did laundry… and hang the cloths on pegs…and iron cloths… and then round up hadi..for time conformation…which is the time he will pick me up…

1 noon… all dressed up and of we go ( me and hadi) to muaz’s place..weeee… met the others ( ubay, farah, shikin, laily, firhan, najmi darling =p, fathin, lina )had loads of fun..basically eating and laughing ustoppable + histerically…done lunch…next.. to zamil’s house…  eat eat eat..laugh laugh laugh ( omigod… i sound like a  mad women who can’t stop eating  and laughing….wonder whoever would want to marry me?!!!)

6.45 pm everyone is full and belly starts to bloat ( gotta be super conscious about my weight…like most normal lady would do.. although i do admit i LoVe to eat…food is the source of comfort when feeling depress and doommm)…say thanks to zamil..and head back home… ( thanks muaz and zamil for free food and good hospitality)…

9 pm on the dot… back at home at last…say bye² to hadi… ( before that daddy have been calling several time saying… ‘ aren’t you suppose to be back at home by now?!!’..sorry dad…but i did reach home on time…i’ll be good girl..no more coming back home before curfew *wink*…

and now..time to catch up with my dear girl..bridget jones… oh by the way… gotta mention…i’ve learn new words again bloggy dear…. like

f*ckwitage = means a guy/ girl who is in a relationship but are not commited to it  and concentrate more on carrier or football…and lacking of emotional value (seems to resemble someone….*wink*..but are not allowed to use such word..bad bad word…its a no no)

hoity toity = mean when you have full composure of yourself and talk very proudly on certain matter which is your interest

blimey = is actually a word that could consider as " melatah"..actually is there any english word for "melatah"?

sigh…how i love english accent…it sounds so sexy and polite in certain ways ( minus the bad words puhhhlease…)…can’t imagine how the english mafia sounds like… don’t you think it would be funny… english mafia with thick british accent…….hermmm….

assalamualaikum

ok…todays news..right now i’m reading bridget jones diary…edge of reason.. (hurrah)… yeah bloggy… i know that i’ve watched it..but reading it is much fun..besides what you watch doesn’t quite exactly the same with what you read…and besides..i kinnda fall in love with it…it sounds sooo..how do i say it..BrItIsH…ahahahah….and guess what bloggy love.. i actually learn few fascinating words..like…jolly good ( common !! ).. and bollock… yes.. i know its a bad word..but isn’t it common for us mortal…to easily memorize bad unspeakable words then those polite words…come on..don’t deny it…. you can’t be that naive and innocent all the time you know!!

ok..done with that..hermmm~…what else shall i write in you… oh… sorry..nearly missed… today i drove to my aunt’s house..in subang… my lovely adorable makmah (opah is staying over there to)… it wasn’t that hard to get there…only that i was quite annoyed with my mom who impossibly can’t stop pushing me to be faster while i was taking my sweet time getting ready.. i know it’s my fault ( sorry mom)… but mama…pleasee don’t rush me…i tend get jumpy easily when people starts to push me around… ( once again..sorrry mom… you are still  my precious jem in this undeniable-rebelious-teenager-heart although we always have different point of view…love you )… and once i got there ( that is precisely 3.32)… daddy starts to call ( around 5 pm) and scolded me and told me..be back before 6pm…. daddyyyyyy…. i know you are worried if i drive late at night..but mommy is the one that wanted to spend more time there…. this is so unfair… am i a middle person that always get all this unnecessary scolding…. ( and i thought being 23 is way tOoO old enough to get a preschool-type-of-scolding!!)

well…to make it short… i had a dreadful day… fortunately i have my dearest sisters back at home who never fail to make things better…. love you guys SoOoO much

hermm…guess what bloggy love… tomorrow there’ll be a small celebration… deeparaya thingy..organized by tpm… and they required that… few of the students to bring pot luck ( budget problem)…been pondering what should i bring… bread pudding ( done that before) ? what shall i cook bloogy dear… something new..something that no one else might bring… mommy suggested that i shouldn’t waste my time and effort..just bring the raya cookies that haven’t eaten yet… ( itu dah kire malas la kan ?!!!)… besides she said… can save money and tak bazir cookie…mom and money saving…. shesshh… ( better of than me who can’t stop spending money…and getting broke all the time )

tak ape la bloggy… i’ll figure that out later..maybe i’ll just use mom idea kalau tak sempat….heeheh….

yesterda..i went to see my gorgeouse great grandma…she’s doing fine..and gradually getting better, i presume…but she alway says that… the pain..the fractured leg won’t heal…MoYaNg…. believe me..it will heal.. it just need more time… because your bone is lack of calcium… so it requires more time…. moyang nie tak nak tgk finez kawin ke? kate nak duduk ngan finez bile finez keja nanti…. soo..moyang have to….HAVE TO… get well…

gotta stop now…knowing me..the big chatter box… i can go on and on until everybody die with boredom and ear full of earwax( because of this so reknown whinner…)…toolidoo…love ya bloggy ( feel me relax now after typing in you….sigh~)

assalamualaikum

urghhh… help!! i’ve been revising my anthropology and still it doesn’t quite stick into my head..and to think of that tomorrow…there’s a QuIz  for this subject… i need to make sure that i will get great marks…and i mean GREAT + EXCELLENT result for my quiz..sounds totally kIaSu am i? what ever it is..i don’t care…i want it badly and when i say i want it badly… i really can be nasty and manipulative in getting my way…..

ok..enough about my study disaster….bloggy dear..i miss my fwensss a lot… i miss my hacc family and the time we had together…i miss my old school fwenss and i miss my uitm fwenss especially akak, ummi and naz (the most)….i miss my far² away black boy…and i miss my cousin..teh mysara….huhuhuhuhuhu…always wonder what are they doing and is everything fine etc²

ops..dah azan isyak..i think i’ll better stop now…( basically i don’t know what to type in you bloggy dear..there’s nothing much to say)..anthropology..here i come…

assalamualaikum

hElP²… my evil + naughty sister is bullying me…she just hit me with her favourite bellon…. sheesh..and i thought that big sister are suppose to bully the little ones… how come i’m in opposite situation?

ok..todays news.. no more complaining ( if i keep on complaining, people will definately thinsk i’m such a WhInNeR…and i wouldn’t like people to label me with such attitude)… let’s talk about dreams..yeah..dreams a.k.a ambition, goals etc

have you ever had a dreams…like having big house, big cars, big family and big husband ( ugh..that’s terrifying)… i guess everyone won’t deny the fact that this is in fact very² common…

when i was small..i always have this particular dream..that i won’t get married… i will have a nice cosy clinic and..i will cure my patient….and i will give free of charge treatment to those that can’t afford it..but for those that is freaking rich… its a different case….=p ( mcm baik je shafinez nie….)

and i will live in a big house…and i will force my hot great grandma…my gorgeous grandma and my cute grandfather to live with me and my adorable parents and siblings…. i even will ask my uncles and aunty to live with me and also my darling cousins ( if they want to ) soo basically..my house need to be gigantic and it will be full of my dearest family… i would even ask my dearest good girlfriends to stay with me..if they are not attach…hahaha… i’m sure we would have loads of fun together…

*sigh… what a wonderful life it would be…. having all my love ones staying together….

i know that my dream sounds a bit crazy.. ok².. tooo crazy… its just that…the idea of having all my love ones near to me..make me feel safe and peaceful…it makes me feel comfortable…maybe i’m afraid to lose them and the fact that..as we grow older we tend to drift away from each other…..and at last.. those time that we share together will only be a vivid memory…. i guess  getting older and driting appart from those that i treasure the most terrifies me… i sound immature am i? *sigh…….. well… you are right bloggy dear… maybe this dream are not meant to be…. life is like a bitter medicine… no matter how hard you push it away..you just have to swallow it…  and in the end your pain will be cured….and in the end you will held you head high and keep on going… with the pain heal… turn into a scar..and sooner or later will fade away……

uwaaaa..i don’t wanna lose you guys… i hate (x10000) the feeling of losing the ones i care, love and cheerish… i don’t want this to happen..oh bloggy dear..my heart is aching… can you make this feeling stop…  ( its the feeling that i always had when i send my friends away..the ones that study in intec and my hacc friends… or when its end of form 5 and in uitm…how come i’m the one that always kena ‘tinggal’…i hate this feeling… please make it go away .. ); )

Assalamualaikum

EeEe..man i have this severe stomach ache..i guess eating a lot won’t help to REDUCE the pain…..hahaha…silly me… soo bloggy..what’s today topic? there’s nothing much to say..but there’s a lot to complain..for instance….

i hate paris hilton..not hate hatred…hate which equivalent to envy… well for starters..she has loads of money…and i don’t…she has those photogenic face..where as i’m plain old jane or the girl next door that you won’t bother to look at…she has a body that is totally skinny..thanx to her high metabolism… and i have a fat lump which is impossible to get rid of… she popular and live in glamerous life although she admits that she’s not that inteligent ( and she has a reality tv show which proff that she quite dumb.what the heck!!)… while i have a bit intelligence but life soo dull…

shessh..can life be more unfair then it is right now…SHAFINEZ!!! why are you complaining? you think tat your life is much worse then it is..look at those that live in hunger + pain and in a country without any peace and tranquility… be thankful you silly old-hag…(that is wat i usually say to myself in order for me to get a grip with my life..yeah…you can call it as moral-motivation)…

ok..i’m done with ‘i hate paris hilton’…now let’s start with somehing else…

hermmm…. basically..today there’s nothing much to mention to you..bloggy dear…only that.. i vowed to myself that i will start studying my antropology tonight…but…my brain and my body seems to malfunction right now… a.k.a the lazy syndrom…gotta get rid of this nuisance attitude…

oh yeah..i cooked enchiladas today..but i manage to put a little shafinez alterration to it since theres no enchiladas sauce around here… sheesh.. i sound soo boring…who would bother wanting to know what i did/do today… there’s much better things to do besides thissssss….

ok shafinez..spill out the truth….ok..here it goes…i’m worried bloggy..but i can’t blurt it out to you..because…well…its hard to put it in you..ok²… i’ll tell you..i’m worried whether my ambition right now..will come true..can i accomplish my dream with all the problems that i haven’t settle yet…like money and etc…i’m really² worried bloggy..it seems that luck haven’t always on my side…and i just got the confirmation date..instead of felling happy… there’s a knot tying in my stomach… urgh! this is soo depressing… what am i to do… oh bloggy dear.. i sound so pathetic…alas..i can’t help it…so help me GOD…. please ya Allah..bukakan rezeki ku di dunia dan di akhirat…please listen to my plea…i shall not obey thee.. ya Allah…if this wish do come true….

Assalamualaikum

*sigh… bloggy i miss my old geng..my old hot chocolate geng… especially the time we were in form 3..i admit…i was uncontrolbly shabby and a mess at that time…my fashion sense was horrible…even donna karan will take ages to make me up…

during that time..i wore a big ‘tudung’ where most ‘ustazah’ normally wear… i’m not saying that i was ‘really religious’ back then… but i found it comfortable…

because of its humoungous size…i had a big fluorscent paint on it..thanks to kemahiran hidup paint project…hahaha…man…and to think that i didn’t care at all about the paint…and manage to get through it…without feeling ashame…

but my friends was adorable…they used to called me blur…but still they stick with me through thick and thin…we usually had our ’study group’ that end up as gossiping time…while sucking our trusty chup-a-chup…. i remember all the details… nani that sometimes can be crazy and sometimes can be ‘jiwang’… intan our reknown model…chitana…the bubly one…shikin..the naughty one..always up to mischievous plan..like going out before school time is over just to buy moffats tape ( man..we were die hard moffat fans)…feminine marlia..who has great skin..and soft spoken ( and she’s already married)..ainol..the pretty + cute ainol..and wahid..our very own amy mastura…

sometime i wish..i could just return back at that time…and somehow wish that there’s certain thing i wish to change… but we should not regret the things that we had done in the past..but take it as a mistake that we learn in able for us to understand life better and for us to be a much better person

Assalamualaikum bloggy

a life-based question to ask…. what does true friends mean… is it those that always never FAIL to ‘lepak’ with you..for example at mamak stall or nz 24/7… (same as the time mamak stall open and closes).. or those that maybe don’t have THE TIME for you..and do not fond of ‘lepaking’ but you can always assure that you always have a special place in their heart… or does friendship means… having those that never fails to be with you when you are happy…or… those that never fails to attend you when you are sick and sometimes says the hurtful things in order for you to see the truth?

mane satu ek bloggy…soo tell me..what does true friends mean…please clarify things for me…because i need to be SAVE… does true friends mean going to clubs together..having the time of their life…although you know that basically what you are doing is TOTALLY wrong… or does true friends means accepting people as it is and remind them that some things are wrong even though it is fun to do it…

i’m confuse and hurt bloggy..confuse thinking that where do i actually stand…and hurt when realising the truth…where the truth is i am nothing… harsh isn’t it…alas i can’t run away from the fact…can you bloggy when you have see things so clearly…soo clearly that you can’t cover it up..and the pain swallow you whole..

what does true loves mean bloggy? does it mean loving someone that when you are so in love..you don’t realise what is the reason you love that someone.. (is it the eye, the smile, the joke, etc)… or does true love mean to change someone according to your need and demand…and making the ones that we thought we love be the person that we wanted them to be?

or does it mean the physical attraction…where when you see ‘the one’… you are totally mesmerize…and uses the phrase ‘ love at 1st sight’… or does true love mean skin-deep? to me there is no such thing as ‘love at 1st sight’..whoever create this qoute must be bluffing…was it Shakespear that creat this MAGNIFICENT phrase..or was it someone else…

honestly..if anyone uses this phrase..i beg you…please find another..much more better pick up line..because if you uses this ‘line’ it shows how shallow you are and that you are just another part of the entity that live in a PLASTIC world.. a world where beauty is more then skin-deep… how i pity these kind of human being…and i pray to Allah..make them see..make their brain functional…and make them think before taking the ‘big jump’…. like old people would say.. think before you act..and look before you leap…

oh by the way bloggy… please do remind me that *jinx equivalent to bad luck.. i wouldn’t want to make such silly mistake..it will be soo unsophisticated of me..yuck!